You and Whose Army?
by morethenwords122
Summary: Summary: Instead of mind-warpping Alex, Tess comes to him and asks him for his help in decoding the book.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **You and whose Army?** (The title is one of my favorite songs by a band called 'Radiohead' by the same name, I suggest you go and listen to it. I feel it sets the tone of this story perfectly.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own the characters or the show. This story is just for fun. No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: Mature for strong language, some sexual content, and some scenes of extreme violence and gore

Parings/ Couples: CC, Ensemble

Genre: Au with Aliens/ Angst/ Romance

Spoilers: Everything up to 'Cry Your Name' in season 2 than Au elements that lead to 'Ch-Ch-Changes' in season 3

Summary: Instead of mind-warpping Alex, Tess comes to him and asks him for his help in decoding the book; Alex being Alex, agrees. But the two soon learn that by decoding the book, they have brought all forms of danger to Roswell. So, in order to keep everybody they love safe; they make up an elaborate plan for Alex to die in a gruesome but suspicious car crash and for Tess to be framed for it.

Now, six years later, Tess, Alex, and her young son are on the run from an enemy far more dangerous than they could have ever imagined. So dangerous, in fact, that not even those they left in Roswell aren't safe anymore. To right, what they've done wrong; Tess and Alex decided to return to Roswell to warn their friends of their unknown enemy and to give them the true translation of the book. But are they ready to pay the price for returning home?

**Warning! This story has loads of dark angst, death, and dark sarcastic humor. You've been warned.**

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><p><span>April 23rd, 2001 7:30 PM<span>

One Year Ago

It had taken about three hours to make it to the deserted highway near the New Mexico State line. It was usually only about an hour drive but the torrential downpour of stinging rain mixed in with heavy hail had made the drive more difficult. The lone highway in question was more an old-school dirt road than a highway really. Only truck drivers and tourists (who didn't know the area, but were looking for a shortcut) used it. Born natives of New Mexico knew to watch out while driving on that road; it had developed a poor foundation over the centuries from tire-tracks and people in general. It was also cluttered with boulders and half-done asphalt potholes (from back when the state had tried in vain to restore it). With the crazy amount of rain pouring down, the road had become clumped together with hard mud balls that had boulders as their center. The mud was so hard, that if someone wasn't careful, they could get their tires stuck or, if they were lucky enough to get a mud ball, they could lose their car altogether. That wasn't something that the owner of a beaten-up black car feared as it zoomed down the road at about eighty miles an hour, recklessly, dodging boulders that were caked with mud and the road's mud patches. The owner of the car didn't seem to care about his own well-being or that of others; at a closer look, someone might have thought the driver of that car had to be drunk to be driving like that in weather like this.

About a quarter mile up the dirt road, the car had come to a screeching halt and, a moment later, two figures hurriedly stepped out. The occupants of the car had been two teens, a boy who had been the driver and a girl who had been the passenger; both seemed to be around the same age and both wore darkly serious, gloomy expressions. The boy was tall but not gracefully so; he had medium length, hair as black as night that was all over the place. It looked like he had run his fingers through it more than once. He wore simple clothing: a blue, long-sleeved shirt that had seen better days with a pair of faded-beige khakis. His features were average; he was run-of-the- mill guy, blending into the wallpaper. The only striking thing about him was his eyes… a deep, chocolate, brown that shone with an intense sense of understanding, the kind of understanding which, if someone wasn't careful, they could get lost in it for hours. But now those eyes had lost their serene light and a deadly sense of knowledge had replaced it, knowledge of what needed to be done and that everything is dangerous.

The girl, on the other hand, was not ordinary in any way. Sure, she was the kind of attractive blonde, blue eyed girl that almost every adolescent (or perverted old man) drooled over, but anything else toward normal ended there. Her blonde hair came down in long sheets of curly waves; her blue eyes usually sparkled with bubbly, naïve excitement, but now looked burdened with a sense of pain… pain that no normal teen should know about yet. Then again, this wasn't any normal teen. She was an alien. After leaving the car, the two teens spoke briefly to each other before going to the car's fender. The boy paused briefly before pulling a pair of keys from his pocket, opening up the trunk and pulling out what could only be two small duffel bags. The first duffel seemed to bulge slightly, overloaded with stuff and the boy groaned as he pulled that one out, sending the small blonde a glare which she returned with a smirk. The second duffel was small enough for the boy to simply pull out of the trunk effortlessly and sling over his left shoulder.

The boy slammed the trunk shut and, with a brief look at his small friend, started walking up the mud sleeked road, only stopping to let the young girl catch up to him. The two continued a mile up the road before either one of them spoke.

"Are we doing the right thing?" the short blonde asked, focusing on the road ahead of her for any oncoming cars.

The lanky boy carrying the duffels turned to her with a solemn but firm expression. "We're doing what we have to do." He said, harshly. He was beginning to look like a drowned puppy, his clothes drenched, and hanging off him like heavy comforters. But he didn't feel quite comforted right now. His wild hair was beginning to become plastered to his head. If truth be told, he was looking more like a drowned rat than a puppy.

"But is it right?" the blonde pushed, trying to ignore the painful stinging of the hail that marked her cheeks red. The tall boy only shrugged. He couldn't answer that. He wasn't doing this to be right; he was doing this because it would keep everybody safe. The small blonde let the subject drop and the two continued walking for another mile before an unmistakable sound startled them.

The two turned to each other sharply at the sound of the oncoming semi-truck. Even through the violent rain and hail; the truck still made the road shake from its power. The teens took a collective breath before deciding to bolt toward the small ditch on the side of the road they had noticed as they were walking, constantly slipping in the mud, before sliding into the ditch at the last minute, their duffels sloshing them both with wet mud. By the time, the two had settled into the rocky ditch, the semi had grown closer to them. There wasn't much time before the stilled car would be noticed in the middle of the road, if something wasn't done fast. With a deep breath, the blonde girl raised her hand toward the direction of the car they had abandoned a few miles back and, after a few moments of heavy concentrating, the car began to move toward the approaching semi. Neither the boy nor the girl had a clear view of the car in question until it was about a half a quarter mile from their position in the ditch, with the semi still about a mile away from them and the car. The boy noticed that the concentration it took to power the car forward was starting to take its toll on the blonde alien, so with a slight shove of the girl's shoulder, he made the girl break the connection at the last moment. The car stopped and, moments later, the semi-truck collided with the boy's small car.

The catastrophic collision the semi and the car made shouldn't have been much of a shock really; any car, no matter how big, wasn't a match for a semi, but that didn't stop the two teens from being unprepared for the devastating impact. Glass was thrown everywhere, in every direction from both vehicles and the initial impact from the semi made the small car cave in, causing it to buck wildly before finally bursting into flames and exploding. The driver of the semi had apparently been knocked unconscious by the initial impact and both teens had to resist the urge to go over and check to see if the man was alright; they couldn't worry about that now. The two had to remain impassive, detached from the situation. So they stayed silent, motionless, as they watched the small car's flames slowly die away, the rain putting them out and making everything, even the air, smell like charred charcoal.

"I need to head back to town," the blonde said suddenly, glancing at her Mickey Mouse watch. The two hadn't said anything to each other in nearly an hour- since the car caught on fire.

_God, she's too young for this, _the tall boy thought, saddened by seeing something as childish, as innocent, as a flash of her Mickey Mouse watch; _we're both too young for this. _"How are you going to get back?" the boy asked, shaking his thoughts away. "You can't walk in this weather." He was concerned. He didn't want her to get hurt. It was the last thing he wanted. _Little too late for that, don't you think? _the boy thought bitterly.

"I'll manage," the girl said with a small smile. She always did. The small girl took one last look at the charred wreckage she had just created, trying to bite down the roaring guilt that was slowly sneaking up on her. _It had to be done. It had been done to keep their friends safe, _she thought, turning away from the wreck, choking down her urge to vomit. She prayed that they hadn't killed the man laying unconscious in the semi. She didn't think she could handle having that burden on her conscious, not with all the others she was going to be the keeper of soon.

"You sure there wasn't any other way, Tess?" The tall boy asked her as she climbed out of the ditch and began to walk down the road.

Tess paused, mulling it over, but she already knew the answer. "I wish there was." Tess said. "Goodbye, Alex." She smiled sadly at her friend before continuing to walk down the road into the next town to hitch a ride. She only had three hours to get back to Roswell, get cleaned, and get to the Crashdown to meet her friends. Isabel wanted to talk about the prom, about her date… with Alex. As Tess continued to walk back to town, Alex looked back to the wreckage that lay in front of him, the flames completely extinguished. _God, what have we done? _he thought, slowly putting his hand over his mouth to hide his erratic breathing as he looked at grisly scene before him. _What are we about to do? _Alex asked himself_. _Did they really know what they were up against? Were they doing the right thing by faking Alex's death?

It didn't matter though, because no matter how much Alex had pleaded with himself to understand what needed (had) to be done. Even through all the bullshit excuses, he still couldn't make himself believe that he and Tess were somehow doing (done) the right thing. They were creating deception, even if they were doing it for all the right reasons, doing it to keep their loved ones safe. It still didn't stop the guilt from gnawing at his stomach; churning inside of him, causing him to picture the grief his death would cause his friends. Grief they would forever be laden with. It was almost too much to bear. _Almost._

Alex couldn't look at the wreck anymore. Turning his head back to Tess, he saw that she had made it about a mile up the road already. How long had he been lost in his thoughts? How long had been staring at that _fucking_ wreck?

Alex raised his hand slightly and waved sadly, as he watched Tess's small form disappear from view. "Goodbye, Tess." Alex mumbled softly, letting the tears he had held in since seeing the 'Now Leaving Roswell' sign, slip down his aching cheek, trailing through the dirt and dripping onto his dirty clothes. _Goodbye._

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter 2

April 23rd, 2001

A few hours later at the Crashdown

Maria sighed happily as she walked outside, taking out the diner's garbage, to see that the weather had finally cleared up. Unable to resist, Maria spun lazily under the peeking sunlight. It was beginning to fade and turn dark, but some light still remained and had enough power for her to feel the sunrays beat down softly on her face. Maria hummed happily as she skipped lightly toward the dumpster.

She was still on a nirvana-like high from last night. Maria had thought prom would be an extremely horrible experience in her life after discovering Michael with an older woman earlier that week. But a much needed explaining, along with Michael's new – really bad – dance moves, not to mention his willingness to actually clean up nicely and humiliate himself in front of his peers, gave the night a magic all its own for her.

The night's lingering enchantment still glinted in her eyes as she looked at her group of friends, still seeing how the night had played out for the others. It looked like Alex was finally going to get the girl of his dreams, as long as he played it cool and made her wait it out; it wouldn't hurt Isabel to chase after him for a change. Maria had gotten to see Michael make a deliberate ass out of himself to make things right- and it was all in the name of love. So, in other words, everybody's fairy tale had come true that night… well, almost everybody's.

Liz ended up with a broken heart when she had saw Tess and Max kissing in the hallway last night. Maria had immediately felt sorry for her best friend when she was told about it all, especially since Maria herself had been rattling on and on about how wonderful prom was.

But what could she do? She couldn't shake Liz's silly belief that everything would crumble if she told Max everything about future Max's visit. And, no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't make Tess disappear either. It was out of her hands; there was nothing she could do.

Maria's thoughts were disrupted by the sound of Sheriff Valenti's- that is, ex-sheriff's- size nine boots clunking loudly against the wet pavement. She would recognize his footsteps anywhere; his feet always moved with an authoritative stomp to them.

She turned around and smiled sweetly at Kyle's father, the man who had helped them on a number of occasions to save their alien friends' behinds. Not so long ago his help had even cost him his job as sheriff. Maria knew the hybrid's felt guilty about the price the older Valenti had to pay to keep their secret. But, like everything else in her life, it couldn't be helped. Maria knew it was no use getting all tied up in thoughts of 'what if's'; she was just happy that they had a friend who was willing to sacrifice so much to keep them all safe.

"Here to see Kyle?" Maria asked as she raised her eyebrow. As much as she loved to see the older Valenti, she was a little unnerved by his presence. He hardly ever visited the Crashdown unless her mother or Kyle was in tow.

"Kind of," the older Valenti replied shortly, glancing briefly toward his car, parked behind him. _He looks ready to bolt,_ Maria thought with some confusion. If she wasn't unnerved before, she was now.

"Okay… he's in the dining area." Maria said warily, pointing to the back entrance.

"Okay." Jim glanced briefly at the door in question before turning back to ask Maria, with a small smile, "You have fun at prom?"

"Yes." Maria beamed. "I still can't believe Michael showed up clean… and in a tux!" Maria exclaimed.

Jim nodded his head.

"But it's not the first time Michael Guerin ever surprised me." Maria shook her head and laughed…. _definitely not the first time._

"I'm glad you had a good time, Maria," Jim said politely. He was looking everywhere but at her.

"Yeah," Maria said, concern lacing her vocal cords. Something wasn't right. "I really had a good time, especially since I had front row seats to Michael's lame attempts to get groovy with it." Maria chuckled.

"Uh-Huh…" Jim said vaguely.

Maria chuckled again as the night slowly come back to her. She put her hands on her hips as she thought of another funny story from the previous night. "Especially when…"

"Maria…" Jim Valenti interjected. She was rambling excitably, obviously still on her high over having one perfect evening with all her friends and her boyfriend.

If he didn't stop her right now, if he didn't say what he had to… right then, he would probably never say it. "Maria…" Jim sighed, playing with his hands. "It's Alex… He's…" Jim trailed off, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, tears he had been holding in since seeing Alex's burnt body at the accident site.

Maria suddenly felt even more uneasy than before; she didn't like the tone of his voice. She didn't like the barely contained misty look of his eyes. Then, suddenly, everything hit her like a lightning bolt, causing Maria to stumble back into the dumpster. "N-No." She choked, holding her arms out to ward off Valenti's unspoken words. _No! Please! _She thought, trying to control her stubborn tears from falling down her face. _Please! Don't say it!_ She pleaded silently, making her way to the back entrance to get to the kitchen and away from him. She knew what was coming. She could feel it, sense it, and she just prayed silently that the gods would show mercy on her… but then again, the gods had never been that kind to Maria DeLuca.

Mr. Valenti eyes followed her every footstep, still wearing that look of tearful heartbreak and desperation. He paused briefly, before saying suddenly, almost harshly, "He's dead, Maria. Alex is dead."

Maria's reaction was almost instant. "NO!" she yelled frantically, crashing through the back entrance into the kitchen door, then the dining area, into Liz's confused but comforting arms. Max stood up abruptly at Maria's uncommon and disconcerting entrance, sending her a mixture of looks, ranging from panic, concern, and slight annoyance.

Maria ignored him and buried her head deeper into Liz's shoulder. Michael, on the hand, kept trying to get Maria to look at him and tell him what was wrong- even at some point pleading with her to stop crying and tell him what was going on. But Maria couldn't speak; she couldn't breathe. She didn't want to be touched by anybody but Liz, because Liz was the only one who could understand… the only one who could understand her pain. Maria felt like she was losing a part of herself, a part of her being. It had always been her, Alex, and Liz for so long, sticking together through any alien or human mess life threw at them. They were born being the three musketeers, born to always be together. _Always. _

Jim immediately informed the other teens of the news; he had seen his mistake with Maria. He had taken too long, been too harsh. It was his own fault; he still hadn't gotten over the shock of seeing Alex's lifeless body being taken away by the coroners. They hadn't even tried to revive him- hadn't even given his body a second glance- before zipping it up; they said it was useless, he had been burnt too badly.

As Jim Valenti told the others the news, Maria noticed, vaguely, the stoic expression on Tess's face the entire time that Valenti was speaking. Then Maria went into hysterics, her sobs turning to screams.

Even after Liz had heard the news herself, she didn't push her away; she just held Maria tighter… even when Maria started screaming at the ceiling. Michael tired frantically to get his girlfriend to calm down. Max looked away, stunned speechless. Kyle pulled Tess in for a hug. Isabel just wore a blank expression, either not registering anything… or not wanting to. The only time an expression briefly crossed her face was when Maria began her insane chanting, "Alex isn't dead! Alex isn't dead!" Even then, it was a cold and detached look; almost as though Isabel had gone into a permanent 'Ice Queen' state… not feeling anything.

Maria wished she could turn everything off like Isabel and just become numb, but every time she tried, it was like she only became more hysterical. Every time she told herself not to think about it, it only made her think about it more… almost to the point that she truly believed she was driving herself insane.

_He can't be dead! _Maria thought for what had to be the millionth time since Valenti had brought them the news. She began trying to pull away from Liz's embrace, but Liz only held on tighter as Maria became downright crazy, _No! No! No! Alex can't be dead!_ That was Maria's last coherent thought before she blacked out into oblivion.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

With each passing moment, Isabel began to grow more and more impatient for Max to come out of the coroner's van. She had spent the last half hour trying everything to keep herself from running over to the van, yanking the doors open, pushing Max out of the way and healing Alex her own damn self. She had done everything to keep herself steady from playing with her hair to rocking back and forth on the heels of her two feet… the latter had helped to settle the sudden hammering of her beating heart. For a little while she was able to breathe again, to feel normal… like everything would be alright if she just continued to rock back and forth. The rhythm helped her to forget, kept her mind from racing; it kept her head from filling with images… images of Alex. It kept her from remembering that he was dead … until Michael roughly put his hand on her shoulder and shot her a hard glare, causing her to crash back to reality.

Michael's glare made everything come rushing back to her until everything came back tenfold. It made the cool air she was standing out in seem arctic and it made the street lights that shone down on the beige building of the hospital seem brighter. It made the standing, the endless waiting for Max to come out of the van … or for Alex's body to be carted away… seem much more real than before. As she swatted Michael's hand off her shoulder violently and pinched the bridge of her nose, she was hit with a sudden tidal wave of intense dread and desperation that made her almost double over but, at the last minute, she tapped into the defiant denial that had been fueling her since Valenti had given the news of Alex's death to keep her standing.

Isabel decided to shut herself back down. She couldn't handle the heightened sense of every feeling, every aura that swirled around her violently. She almost wanted to hate Michael for making everything real again; his hand remained her of memories she was trying to forget and emotions she had been successfully running away from. They came back like a brick that threatened to crush her. But she couldn't make herself muster the energy to hate him; not when she knew that Michael was just as worried as she was.

Isabel took a deep breath and lifted her head to take in her surroundings once again… not that they had changed much since she had escaped into her own world for those brief moments. Everybody's energy and aura was still the same, filled with desperation and an emotion that almost resembled heartbreak, but not quite. The only thing that had seemed to change was that everybody had surrounded the outer perimeter of the coroner's van. They held hands, their breaths, or each other, but remained silent. She was the only one who was alone as they waited, hoping desperately that Max would come out with a smiling Alex Whitman, trying to make a lame attempt at making light of the situation, trailing behind him.

Isabel didn't remember how they all had formed a huddle outside of the double doors of the van, but then again, she couldn't really remember anything after Valenti had delivered the news. All she could remember, before they all sped away in Max's jeep to the morgue, was Maria's hysterical crying. It had taken Michael and Liz about an hour to calm Maria down enough to be able to get her into the jeep. Isabel hadn't really been able to look at Maria, expect with brief glances, during the entire ride to the building. Every time Isabel even dared to sneak a look longer than a glance, she could still see the completely broken beyond repair look etched on Maria's face and Isabel feared that, if she looked at it for too long, she would become just as broken too. _What if I am already broken? _Isabel thought. _What if I become even more broken then….? _Isabel's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a loud gasp, which she could only assume was from Maria. Following her gaze, Isabel whipped her head in the direction of the van. Max was stepping out … without Alex.

Isabel began to hyperventilate. She couldn't breathe, her breath was turning shallow. It felt like her life force had been knocked out of her. She could only imagine what her aura looked like right now, all muddy and marked with the black recognition of death. She wouldn't be surprised if death was a part of her essence now… she felt like _she_ was dead. That was probably why Max was moving toward her first; her aura probably scared him the most. Her breathing became erratic at the sight of Max's hands, reaching out to her. They were dripping with blood. _Alex's blood_, Isabel thought, with a surreal sense of rationality. She could feel herself having a panic attack. It was all becoming too much. Max reached for her. The blood on his hands testified to the finality of Alex's death; she knew he only wanted to comfort her, but she couldn't stand to have him touch her right now, not with everything crashing into her… becoming real. Not when she was finally unable to tune out the roaring emotions that were threatening to drown her; she couldn't stand anything right now… especially not Max, not after he had touched Alex's bleeding, lifeless body. She just couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand herself. So she ran away.

She ran from Max's stunned and hurt face, she ran from his blood stained hands, from Alex's rapidly cooling body…laying in the van, to be pushed away and opened up for inspection, like some kind of alien experiment. She ran from the memories that were trying to suffocate her.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Tess began to fidget as Max slowly approached the entrance of the Coroner's van, she felt like a brick was suffocating her with each inch he stepped nearer to the van. She had barely been able to breathe since leaving Alex back at that ditch, unable to keep the foreboding feeling from filling up her lungs as she walked back into town; but it wasn't until now — at this very moment — that she realized everything was riding on her.

If she couldn't pull off the plan, if she allowed herself to fail… then everything would fall apart. She took a deep inhale to keep herself from laughing manically. She thought that destroying the car had been the most important moment in her life, but she was wrong—it was now. If she couldn't make Max believe what she needed him to, then what happened next would bring its own danger. Everything that she and Alex had worked for would come crumbling down. Everybody she had grown to love might lose their lives. It was enough to make her want to break down and cry, but Tess stuffed her emotions back in; she couldn't let them rule her, not now. Not if she wanted to do this right. Her focus had to be on Max's being, his mind. She had to have all her wits about her to be able to connect with him, to be able to perform the mind-warp.

Tess forced herself to put everything into perspective. She knew how Max's power worked and she knew how she had to proceed. She had to make Max believe he was touching Alex, connecting to Alex's being, in order to make Max believe he was healing Alex that he was unsuccessfully healing. She wished she had more experience than she actually did in the use of her power. She had never attempted to use her power to this extent before. The closest she had ever been to that level of power she was trying to reach now was when Nicholas and the Skins had invaded Roswell; they had been so powerful, their minds so guarded, that she had been surprised that they hadn't noticed an amateur like her had gained access to their brains.

But Nicholas and the skins had one fatal flaw which she was sure Max wouldn't have: arrogance. The main reason Tess had been able to gain entrance to their minds in the first place was because they believed that no one could. She knew Max wasn't _nearly_ arrogant enough for that scenario to work to her advantage and he was smart enough to know when someone was trying to control him, which made her job much more difficult. This wasn't going to be like when she had first arrived in Roswell and had hacked into Max, Isabel, and Michael's minds.

She had initially been shocked at how easy it had been to crack into Max's mind back when she had tried to make the others realize their destiny; the group would be surprised to know that Max had the mind of a child in the sense that, like a child, he had no clear definition of reality. Everything was about one thing. Whether it was in a realistic or fantasy sense was up to him but, just like a child, he had only one thought racing through his brain day and night: Liz Parker. When she had first tried to connect with Max, she had to immediately sort through his feelings and thoughts about Liz. They were so strong and persistent that, once she thought that she had gotten rid of one, another would bombard her as though Max's love for Liz was his default. Like something he used to keep himself sane, planted firmly in the ground, Liz was all Max ever thought about. Maybe that was why Liz had been able to connect with him in New York, when no one else could?

Max didn't know it, but by epitomizing Liz the way he did, his alien side had kicked in and decided to recognize the life source as his soul mate. He had bonded them to each other forever. He had made Liz more alien.

But, unlike last time, Tess wasn't showing snippets of illusions. She was creating one that had to be believed, not only by him but by the group as well. So, in order to mind-warp him, Tess had to bypass that bond, break it, and replace Liz's core with her own, in order to access that kind of depth to Max's being. She really didn't want to do that.

She didn't want to become Max's new soul mate. Actually, she had long ago abandoned the idea of being with Max. Max was just too in love with Liz and it was no fun being in love by yourself, if she really could call what she had once felt for Max 'love'.

And, despite Liz and Maria's refusal to accept her in any way, Tess still had grown quite fond of them both. Liz and Maria had something that Tess admired and somewhat adored— they both had drive and spunk, and an unbreakable will that Tess desperately wanted to possess.

_Maybe today is the day I possess it? _Tess shifted on her feet as Max opened the double doors of the van. She was going to have to possess some kind of will, if she was going to make it through this. She didn't have much of a choice. Her choice to decide had been taken from her the minute she had placed that book in Alex's hands and asked him to decode it.

With a deep breath, she began to reach into Max's mind. It took serious effort on her part, the bond had been stronger than she had originally thought, but she finally broke through. She was finally connected with Max Evan's brain. When Tess finally cracked into someone's mind, she saw what she could only describe as various strips of film racing through her closed eyelids. It was a film of their memories. Nasedo had told her a long time ago that the only way a human brain could process the data of their lives was through strips of film and, even though they were hybrids, their brains were no different than a human's.

Max's brain was no different. She still saw herself having to sort through Max's film strips, looking for his memories of Alex. There weren't many, or many that didn't involve Liz or even Maria in some way, but she was able to find a few when Max had interacted with Alex by himself. They were minor ones, like small hellos in the halls of school, Max asking Alex for advice on how to impress Liz, or working on a 'project' for school or adventures of the alien kind… She wasn't after the actual memories, but the feelings they produced, and Max's general feeling about Alex was just that he was a good friend… and an even better friend to Liz.

It didn't really give Tess much to go on; it was easier for her to warp someone's memories of a person when they had a stronger connection to the object of the illusion; but the memories she found would have to do. She didn't have much time. Taking another deep breath, she began to lock in on the selected memories she chose and twisted them, seeping the feelings those memories evoked, transferring those feelings to Max.

Tess could feel it as Max began trying to make a connection to Alex. It was a hesitant connection. She could feel the fear and slight disgust Max felt at having to touch 'Alex's' lifeless body. She decided to use that to her advantage. If she could use those feelings coursing through Max right now, she could take them and use them to make the faint connection to the corpse Max was touching. Once she was sure that Max believed he was connected to the corpse, Tess began the process of taking the memories she had taken from Max and transferring them to the corpse laying on the stretcher in the van.

She and Alex had tried to mutilate and dismember the body they had decided would be the replacement for Alex's. But they couldn't do the same to the corpse's spirit, memories, and mind. The actual remnants of the corpse still possessed its core being; everything it felt, desired, and feared. She had to replace all those memories and fears with Alex's… or illusions of Alex's… desires, fears, and feelings. The flashes Tess knew he would receive from trying to healing Alex had to feel genuine. They couldn't feel like flashes of some else's life.

_It doesn't feel like __**Alex**_. Tess picked up on Max's uncertain thought and decided she had dive deeper into Max's memories and pull out more that didn't just involve Max and Alex. She pulled some images of Isabel, Liz, Maria, Kyle, herself, and even Michael… and added Alex's essence to them and placed them into the lifeless corpse in the van, giving him a name: Alex.

Tess could feel her head to begin to ache severely from the excess focus her mind was using on her power. She was exhausting herself so much that she was beginning to believe her own lies. That was never a good sign; her mind could only access her power for so long before it began to mess with her own memory strips, thus making the illusion become real to her too. If she wasn't careful, she could be stuck in it forever. The pain got so bad that she could sense herself visibly shaking from it.

When Tess heard someone gasp, her attention was derailed, breaking the mind-warp. She began to breathe frantically, before the severe headache kicked in, she pushed the pain to the side. She didn't know how long she had been able to hold on to Max's mind, how long she had held the connection, or even if her mind-warp had lasted long enough to work. After looking around briefly at everybody, she was relieved to find that their faces were turned hopefully toward the van. After a minute, she noticed the hot flowing liquid dripping from her nose… it was blood, a clear sign that she had held on to the connection too long. She quickly wiped the trickle of blood from her nose before anyone else noticed, then turned her attention back to the van and noticed that Max had stepped out… without 'Alex' in tow.

Tess sighed in relief… _it worked._ She saw Max looking at her with an intense look of desperation; he looked lost, stunned.

_It's happening,_ Tess thought, _His soul was beginning to recognize her as his soul mate_. The realization made her want to puke. _What have I done?_ Tess thought.

He didn't know which one of them to comfort first: Tess, Liz, or Isabel. He seemed to settle on the more logical choice — Isabel's dark aura made Tess want to go and hug her, but she couldn't move. Isabel made his choice easier for him as she stumbled away from Max, away from everybody_. _

_It must have been the blood dripping from his hands? _That thought shook Tess so much that it took everything she had not to scream for Isabel to come back, that everything was going to be okay; that it wasn't Alex's blood. She wanted to tell her that he wasn't dead; that he was still alive, but her mouth wouldn't move.

Max looked stunned and little rejected, but he quickly recovered before he looked in Tess' direction.

_No, Max!_ Tess thought frantically. _Liz, Go to Liz! _

Tess couldn't stand the idea of being touched right now. If she let him touch her, she feared that she'd just break down and tell everybody everything. She couldn't afford that. It was too late to turn back now.

Almost like he could read her thoughts, Max turned and went to hug Liz, but she backed wildly from him. "Go after her, Max," Liz said coldly. For a minute, Max was taken aback by Liz's cold demeanor. She had hurt him with her distance. She had hurt him more than Alex's cold body ever could.

"Yes, Max, go after her," Tess said, letting the tears fall. She had been holding them in since she had left Alex back on the dirt road. "Isabel needs you."

She wished silently for Alex's safety. She wished for him to have made it to a safer location. But most of all, she wished that he was here right now.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

_"__Are you really here?" A figured that looked a lot like Isabel asked._

_"__No, you're talking in your sleep." Alex said more to himself than the illuminated figure sitting next to him. This wasn't real. He must be dreaming… or Isabel had to be dream-walking him. Panic set in to Alex's core; they couldn't be found out now! Tess and he had worked too hard!_ _Alex scratched his eyebrow, trying to portray nonchalance. He had to believe this was a dream, his mind playing tricks on him. He had worked too hard to believe anything else._

_"__I wish I could talk to you." Isabel said, tears streaming down her face. She placed her hand lightly on his, rubbing it with a kind of sensuality he hadn't ever experienced from her when he was alive. _

_"__This is the next b-b-best t-thing." Alex's voice hitched when she placed a butterfly kiss to the palm of his hand. He decided to give in to the dream, give in to the fluttering in the pit of his stomach, and the sudden heat that sneaked up on him, threatening to burn him alive with its invisible flames. He reached out and caressed Isabel's pretty… but heartbroken… face, kissing away her tears. Why couldn't he have been this bold when he was alive?_

_"__I feel like this is a-all my f-f-fault." Isabel's voiced croaked, holding onto his hands that cupped her face tightly. _

_"__What do you mean?" Alex's brows furrowed in confusion. Then his confusion turned to anger. She couldn't think…? "You think you had something to do with my death?" Alex spat, snatching his hand back from Isabel's grip…cursing himself for the loss of warmth. _

_Her heartbreak was replaced by a confusion that was the mirror of his own just moments ago, "Y-y-yes. Yes, I do," Isabel moved closer. "If it… hadn't been for me… if you hadn't gotten involved with me… Maybe, you'd still be alive." Isabel grabbed Alex's hand again and placed it back on her face with an insistence_ _that only Isabel could possess. She wasn't going to have a moment without Alex's warmth near her… part of her…. She wasn't going to lose him ever again._

_Alex couldn't muster the energy that he knew it would take to defy her… he couldn't deny her, not when she was like this. Besides, he didn't want to spend another moment without using this dream, his sudden boldness, to his advantage… but he wouldn't stand for Isabel's misplaced blame. "We both know that's fucking bullshit, Isabel," he squeezed her hand. "Everything we went through these past two years… every moment we shared together… whether they were good or bad…I wouldn't trade them in for the world… because you are my world." Alex pulled her closer, hugging her. He breathed in her scent: a mixture of jasmine and the woods, like she had the night they had stargazed in Frasier Woods. Sighing, he was overtaken by the sudden need to be closer. Oh, god! He missed this! He missed being close to her. He missed being the only one to ever see her bring her guard down. He missed her._

_ "__I'm sorry." Isabel whispered, kissing his neck. She held him tighter._

_Alex shuddered. "I am too." Alex whispered back. They stayed in each other's embrace for what seemed like eternity, crying and holding each other. He wished this dream could last forever. _

_But it couldn't…Alex broke the embrace. "I better go." He wiped the tears he had shed and got up from his place next to Isabel. He took her in one last time before he made a move for the double doors of the Crashdown, but Isabel grabbed his hand. _

_"__What? No, don't go," Isabel pleaded, trying to pull him back into his seat. _

_"__This isn't helping you." Alex said firmly, tugging his hand. _

_"__I can't… I can't just let you go," Isabel said. "Not when I already got you back." _

_Alex turned away from her; he couldn't look at her. Not when she was like this. "Isabel…" He paused. "I'm already gone."Alex pulled his hand away. "I won't be there when you wake up… and you will wake up." He said coldly. _

_"__But will I see you again?" she asked. _

_Alex shrugged. "I don't know," Alex turned his head back around. "I think that's up to you." He leaned down and kissed her forehead._

_Isabel held his head against hers, pulling him in closer. "I love you, Alex." She kissed him with such intensity that it took everything he had not to completely break down. "I will always love you."_

_"__You will?" Alex asked, his voice laced with doubt. He had waited since the third grade to hear those words come out of her mouth, but now that they had; he wasn't so sure he believed them. Isabel kissed him again, leaving no room for uncertainty. She left her mark. The mark of endless love. _

_"__Yeah… well… I love you, too." Alex smiled, blushing. "Goodbye, Isabel." _

* * *

><p>Alex was wakened by a painful, vague pounding assaulting his temples. He opened his eyes and groaned as the offensive pounding grew more painful. He must have dozed off after the rain had finally let up and the paramedics and coroner's vehicles had driven away; he hadn't even realized how exhausted he had been until his eyes had drooped. Alex rubbed his temples lightly and looked around, trying to remember where he was. He was confused at first, until he remembered he had decided to stay down in the ditch after Tess' small frame had disappeared into nothingness. He didn't know why he hadn't made a move to travel forward; that would have been the smarter choice, but he hadn't felt safe leaving his hideout yet. So, he stayed … and had fallen asleep, it seemed.<p>

As the drowsiness cleared, Alex was finally able to place the feeling that woke him up. It was an ache, a headache. There were cars passing by. Alex glanced at his aging Timex — it read: 1:45 AM. It was rush hour time for the truck drivers that used this road at all hours, using them as short cuts for their routes, but because of the rumored car wreck that had happened only hours ago, the main roads were even more piled up than usual. Alex turned sharply in the direction of the increasingly loud highway, sinking further into the ditch for better coverage if he still needed to be hiding. The ditch was small but it was also deep enough to conceal him from all the truck drivers, who would be scouting the area, looking to satisfy their morbid fascination with the death that had occurred here earlier.

Looking back, Alex could still feel the panic coursing through him. The panic from when the paramedics had come still hadn't worn off, not even in sleep. He had feared being discovered then too. He could still feel the hard mud boulders digging into his stomach and ribs, leaving bruises as he covered his mouth, trying to stop his heavy breathing; trying not to alert them to his hiding place.

He could still remember the way he felt when the paramedics began searching his car for his body, until he remembered. Tess had covered that. He had been so wrapped up in his own turmoil that he had forgotten that he and Tess had been carrying a mutilated and dismembered corpse around with them in the front seat of his car the night before; she hadn't explained how she had gotten it or who he had been and he hadn't asked. He hadn't wanted to know the name of the person whose head he had been sawing off.

Alex remembered the grim expressions as the paramedics explained to the new sheriff and Mr. Valenti that his body had been charred beyond recognition. How the head-on impact with the semi-truck had taken his head clean off. They had said that the only way that they had been able to identify the victim was in fact him, was by a picture. It was a picture with him, Liz, and Maria in it; he had always kept it on his dashboard. The paramedics handed Mr. Valenti the picture. He stared at it for such a long time that the paramedics had to politely ask for it back, before saying the only way they would be able to positively match Alex to the body in the car was by the pink slips of the totaled car.

Alex couldn't help himself. He kept thinking, with a detached sense of wonder, that he had died a horrible death. He no longer had an identity. He was just a number now. Just another John Doe.

Valenti handed the picture to the new sheriff before asking a tall, wiry guy, who had called in the accident, questions as the paramedics began scooping the semi for life. He heard some faint, at times inaudible, yelling as one of the paramedics shouted to another paramedic to call the coroner over again—the truck driver was dead too. He didn't know why, but a sharp pain invaded his heart when he had heard that. _He was killed because of us_, Alex thought, rubbing his forehead as the pain in his temples became more intense. _He was dead_ _because of _**me**_._

He wasn't even over the State line yet, and he was already regretting his decision to go along with this plan. He missed his friends. He missed Roswell. He wanted to go back. He wanted to hug his father and mother, he wanted to go on forever hugging Isabel… like in his dream, whispering that everything was going to be alright. He wanted to turn back time and throw that damn book out the fucking window… but he couldn't turn back time. He had to live with now; he had to live with what he'd done.

Alex couldn't really remember anything after the coroner zipped up the truck driver's body. He could vaguely hear some talking, more yelling—mainly from Valenti, some more zipping, and the sounds of a tow truck, but eventually everybody but him had disappeared into the night. Alex stayed.

He was frozen. He couldn't move a muscle. The guilt of his actions was catching up to him, making his stomach turn. He began to dry-heave as the boulders continued to dig deeper into his sides, causing him great pain. He welcomed the discomfort. It seemed fitting, the pain. It seemed he should feel something besides guilt and numbness.

He eventually cried himself to sleep a few hours later. It was the most serene he had felt in months. He was glad he had gotten some peace. He guessed he wasn't going to get much of that—or sleep— over the next couple of weeks, but it seemed even sleep eventually had worn out its welcome and lost its meaning when Alex was jolted awake by the sharp pain in his head. Alex continued to rub his aching temples, contemplating what to do next. It wasn't safe here anymore. He needed to get out of Roswell. He needed to get to the next town or, better yet, another state. He decided he needed to leave.

Alex had barely climbed of the ditch before he doubled over in pain. _God! This headache!_ Alex held his head in both his hands before the pain began to get even worse … and then the images started.

Images began to flash through his head at lightning speed, so rapidly that he didn't have time to process what was being seen. He couldn't pinpoint anything that looked familiar… no image was something he knew from childhood or stood out to him. The only thing he did know was that they weren't exactly _his_ memories, flashing through his head— they were**_of_** him —he saw himself with various members of the group but the memories seemed too forced. As though they were created by an outside hand; they all appeared too hazy and blurred out to be called old memories. There wasn't one that he could remember properly. They seemed almost like a kaleidoscope of films — films someone was sorting through, picking certain strips, transferring and sucking the feelings out, until they became smoke of the brain, and then placing them in someone's—his head— to call his own. The only thing Alex knew for sure was that these images were clearly from some else's head; they were too distant and lacking his essence to be his.

As the images continued to pass aggressively through his head, the ache in his temples began to build rapidly until he felt like his head was going to explode. His muscles began to spasm to a point that was almost debilitating. It felt like his mind was splitting in half; he could feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The pain soon became the only thing he could register. The pain was so bad that he could feel himself shaking from it, convulsing all over the place. All his limbs were in motion, his body flipping everywhere like a fish out of water. Everything was unfocused, blurred to a flash of pain. He was so out of it that he was unaware that he was bleeding from his nose. The blood dripped so profusely that it seemed to come out in streams. All he could remember after that was puking, before the pain became so intense that he fell back into the ditch and blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

_"__Are you really here?" A figured that looked a lot like Isabel asked._

_"__No, you're talking in your sleep." Alex said more to himself than the illuminated figure sitting next to him. This wasn't real. He must be dreaming… or Isabel had to be dream-walking him. Panic set in to Alex's core; they couldn't be found out now! Tess and he had worked too hard!_ _Alex scratched his eyebrow, trying to portray nonchalance. He had to believe this was a dream, his mind playing tricks on him. He had worked too hard to believe anything else._

_"__I wish I could talk to you." Isabel said, tears streaming down her face. She placed her hand lightly on his, rubbing it with a kind of sensuality he hadn't ever experienced from her when he was alive. _

_"__This is the next b-b-best t-thing." Alex's voice hitched when she placed a butterfly kiss to the palm of his hand. He decided to give in to the dream, give in to the fluttering in the pit of his stomach, and the sudden heat that sneaked up on him, threatening to burn him alive with its invisible flames. He reached out and caressed Isabel's pretty… but heartbroken… face, kissing away her tears. Why couldn't he have been this bold when he was alive?_

_"__I feel like this is a-all my f-f-fault." Isabel's voiced croaked, holding onto his hands that cupped her face tightly. _

_"__What do you mean?" Alex's brows furrowed in confusion. Then his confusion turned to anger. She couldn't think…? "You think you had something to do with my death?" Alex spat, snatching his hand back from Isabel's grip…cursing himself for the loss of warmth. _

_Her heartbreak was replaced by a confusion that was the mirror of his own just moments ago, "Y-y-yes. Yes, I do," Isabel moved closer. "If it… hadn't been for me… if you hadn't gotten involved with me… Maybe, you'd still be alive." Isabel grabbed Alex's hand again and placed it back on her face with an insistence_ _that only Isabel could possess. She wasn't going to have a moment without Alex's warmth near her… part of her…. She wasn't going to lose him ever again._

_Alex couldn't muster the energy that he knew it would take to defy her… he couldn't deny her, not when she was like this. Besides, he didn't want to spend another moment without using this dream, his sudden boldness, to his advantage… but he wouldn't stand for Isabel's misplaced blame. "We both know that's fucking bullshit, Isabel," he squeezed her hand. "Everything we went through these past two years… every moment we shared together… whether they were good or bad…I wouldn't trade them in for the world… because you are my world." Alex pulled her closer, hugging her. He breathed in her scent: a mixture of jasmine and the woods, like she had the night they had stargazed in Frasier Woods. Sighing, he was overtaken by the sudden need to be closer. Oh, god! He missed this! He missed being close to her. He missed being the only one to ever see her bring her guard down. He missed her._

_ "__I'm sorry." Isabel whispered, kissing his neck. She held him tighter._

_Alex shuddered. "I am too." Alex whispered back. They stayed in each other's embrace for what seemed like eternity, crying and holding each other. He wished this dream could last forever. _

_But it couldn't…Alex broke the embrace. "I better go." He wiped the tears he had shed and got up from his place next to Isabel. He took her in one last time before he made a move for the double doors of the Crashdown, but Isabel grabbed his hand. _

_"__What? No, don't go," Isabel pleaded, trying to pull him back into his seat. _

_"__This isn't helping you." Alex said firmly, tugging his hand. _

_"__I can't… I can't just let you go," Isabel said. "Not when I already got you back." _

_Alex turned away from her; he couldn't look at her. Not when she was like this. "Isabel…" He paused. "I'm already gone."Alex pulled his hand away. "I won't be there when you wake up… and you will wake up." He said coldly. _

_"__But will I see you again?" she asked. _

_Alex shrugged. "I don't know," Alex turned his head back around. "I think that's up to you." He leaned down and kissed her forehead._

_Isabel held his head against hers, pulling him in closer. "I love you, Alex." She kissed him with such intensity that it took everything he had not to completely break down. "I will always love you."_

_"__You will?" Alex asked, his voice laced with doubt. He had waited since the third grade to hear those words come out of her mouth, but now that they had; he wasn't so sure he believed them. Isabel kissed him again, leaving no room for uncertainty. She left her mark. The mark of endless love. _

_"__Yeah… well… I love you, too." Alex smiled, blushing. "Goodbye, Isabel." _

* * *

><p>Alex was wakened by a painful, vague pounding assaulting his temples. He opened his eyes and groaned as the offensive pounding grew more painful. He must have dozed off after the rain had finally let up and the paramedics and coroner's vehicles had driven away; he hadn't even realized how exhausted he had been until his eyes had drooped. Alex rubbed his temples lightly and looked around, trying to remember where he was. He was confused at first, until he remembered he had decided to stay down in the ditch after Tess' small frame had disappeared into nothingness. He didn't know why he hadn't made a move to travel forward; that would have been the smarter choice, but he hadn't felt safe leaving his hideout yet. So, he stayed … and had fallen asleep, it seemed.<p>

As the drowsiness cleared, Alex was finally able to place the feeling that woke him up. It was an ache, a headache. There were cars passing by. Alex glanced at his aging Timex — it read: 1:45 AM. It was rush hour time for the truck drivers that used this road at all hours, using them as short cuts for their routes, but because of the rumored car wreck that had happened only hours ago, the main roads were even more piled up than usual. Alex turned sharply in the direction of the increasingly loud highway, sinking further into the ditch for better coverage if he still needed to be hiding. The ditch was small but it was also deep enough to conceal him from all the truck drivers, who would be scouting the area, looking to satisfy their morbid fascination with the death that had occurred here earlier.

Looking back, Alex could still feel the panic coursing through him. The panic from when the paramedics had come still hadn't worn off, not even in sleep. He had feared being discovered then too. He could still feel the hard mud boulders digging into his stomach and ribs, leaving bruises as he covered his mouth, trying to stop his heavy breathing; trying not to alert them to his hiding place.

He could still remember the way he felt when the paramedics began searching his car for his body, until he remembered. Tess had covered that. He had been so wrapped up in his own turmoil that he had forgotten that he and Tess had been carrying a mutilated and dismembered corpse around with them in the front seat of his car the night before; she hadn't explained how she had gotten it or who he had been and he hadn't asked. He hadn't wanted to know the name of the person whose head he had been sawing off.

Alex remembered the grim expressions as the paramedics explained to the new sheriff and Mr. Valenti that his body had been charred beyond recognition. How the head-on impact with the semi-truck had taken his head clean off. They had said that the only way that they had been able to identify the victim was in fact him, was by a picture. It was a picture with him, Liz, and Maria in it; he had always kept it on his dashboard. The paramedics handed Mr. Valenti the picture. He stared at it for such a long time that the paramedics had to politely ask for it back, before saying the only way they would be able to positively match Alex to the body in the car was by the pink slips of the totaled car.

Alex couldn't help himself. He kept thinking, with a detached sense of wonder, that he had died a horrible death. He no longer had an identity. He was just a number now. Just another John Doe.

Valenti handed the picture to the new sheriff before asking a tall, wiry guy, who had called in the accident, questions as the paramedics began scooping the semi for life. He heard some faint, at times inaudible, yelling as one of the paramedics shouted to another paramedic to call the coroner over again—the truck driver was dead too. He didn't know why, but a sharp pain invaded his heart when he had heard that. _He was killed because of us_, Alex thought, rubbing his forehead as the pain in his temples became more intense. _He was dead_ _because of _**me**_._

He wasn't even over the State line yet, and he was already regretting his decision to go along with this plan. He missed his friends. He missed Roswell. He wanted to go back. He wanted to hug his father and mother, he wanted to go on forever hugging Isabel… like in his dream, whispering that everything was going to be alright. He wanted to turn back time and throw that damn book out the fucking window… but he couldn't turn back time. He had to live with now; he had to live with what he'd done.

Alex couldn't really remember anything after the coroner zipped up the truck driver's body. He could vaguely hear some talking, more yelling—mainly from Valenti, some more zipping, and the sounds of a tow truck, but eventually everybody but him had disappeared into the night. Alex stayed.

He was frozen. He couldn't move a muscle. The guilt of his actions was catching up to him, making his stomach turn. He began to dry-heave as the boulders continued to dig deeper into his sides, causing him great pain. He welcomed the discomfort. It seemed fitting, the pain. It seemed he should feel something besides guilt and numbness.

He eventually cried himself to sleep a few hours later. It was the most serene he had felt in months. He was glad he had gotten some peace. He guessed he wasn't going to get much of that—or sleep— over the next couple of weeks, but it seemed even sleep eventually had worn out its welcome and lost its meaning when Alex was jolted awake by the sharp pain in his head. Alex continued to rub his aching temples, contemplating what to do next. It wasn't safe here anymore. He needed to get out of Roswell. He needed to get to the next town or, better yet, another state. He decided he needed to leave.

Alex had barely climbed of the ditch before he doubled over in pain. _God! This headache!_ Alex held his head in both his hands before the pain began to get even worse … and then the images started.

Images began to flash through his head at lightning speed, so rapidly that he didn't have time to process what was being seen. He couldn't pinpoint anything that looked familiar… no image was something he knew from childhood or stood out to him. The only thing he did know was that they weren't exactly _his_ memories, flashing through his head— they were**_of_** him —he saw himself with various members of the group but the memories seemed too forced. As though they were created by an outside hand; they all appeared too hazy and blurred out to be called old memories. There wasn't one that he could remember properly. They seemed almost like a kaleidoscope of films — films someone was sorting through, picking certain strips, transferring and sucking the feelings out, until they became smoke of the brain, and then placing them in someone's—his head— to call his own. The only thing Alex knew for sure was that these images were clearly from some else's head; they were too distant and lacking his essence to be his.

As the images continued to pass aggressively through his head, the ache in his temples began to build rapidly until he felt like his head was going to explode. His muscles began to spasm to a point that was almost debilitating. It felt like his mind was splitting in half; he could feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The pain soon became the only thing he could register. The pain was so bad that he could feel himself shaking from it, convulsing all over the place. All his limbs were in motion, his body flipping everywhere like a fish out of water. Everything was unfocused, blurred to a flash of pain. He was so out of it that he was unaware that he was bleeding from his nose. The blood dripped so profusely that it seemed to come out in streams. All he could remember after that was puking, before the pain became so intense that he fell back into the ditch and blacked out.

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

_Isabel pulled Alex closer, pressing his head against her forehead. "I love you, Alex," She kissed him, her heart beating with the intensity of it. It took everything she had to let him go, she had to be strong. She'd see him again. "I will always love you."_

_"__You will?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrow in skepticism. His voice was laced with doubt. She gave him a funny look and rolled her eyes. Did he even have to ask? She had known from the night of the rave at the soap factory that he was the one. Isabel kissed him again, leaving no room for uncertainty. She'd love him till the end of time. She'd love him until she breathed her last breath. _

_"__Yeah… well… I love you, too." Alex smiled, turning his head away in embarrassment. "Goodbye, Isabel" He took one more look at her before he turned away, disappearing into nothingness. _

_"__Isabel." Someone called her. She didn't listen. She just watched Alex leave with a sinking feeling filling up her stomach…. Because people always leave. _

_"__Isabel." The voice became clear, louder as she crashed back into consciousness._

"Isabel." Isabel didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to wake up. She wanted to sleep. To sleep forever… with Alex by her side.

"Isabel, sweetie… honey, come on. Get up." Isabel moaned, slowly opening her eyes. There was no use denying it. She couldn't stop the inevitable… Her happiness was over. "It's time to get ready for the funeral." Her mother said softly, stroking Isabel's soft blonde hair. Isabel looked around, taking in her surroundings. She briefly glanced at the old alarm clock on her night stand beside her bed – It flashed red, reading: 1:42 PM. She turned back to her mother, blinking. She wasn't in the Crashdown anymore. She was awake now, in the real world and that meant…

"It was just a dream." Isabel said softly. She could feel the tears falling down her cheeks. She had only been dreaming. Nothing had changed; Alex was still dead. "No… It was just a dream." Isabel gave in to her sadness, letting it overtake her. Yesterday came crashing back to her, each memory like a tidal wave of pain and loss, each feeling making her gasp for air. Nothing was different; the funeral was still today. Alex was still dead. She was still broken.

Isabel continued to cry as her mother cradled her in her arms, offering comfort that only a mother could.

* * *

><p>Max huffed as he continued to fuss with his tie. He never had to wear a tie before today. He always thought he wouldn't have to wear one until the day he got married and then he would have his dad there to tie it for him and give him some last minute fatherly advice. But then again, things never really go according to plan, do they?<p>

He never thought that he and Liz would barely be able to be in the same room as each other. He never thought that all he would think about would be that he couldn't wait to see Tess again.

He never thought that he would… have a dead friend. He never thought for one minute that one of them would end up dead… especially not Alex.

Alex was life itself. He kept everybody together, he kept them all grounded. He was the soul of this group. What was going to happen to them now that he was dead? Were they going to fall apart? He knew that his sister was having a hard time; he could hear her crying earlier that morning. Was she broken beyond repair? Was he?

Max looped his colored crimson tie through one last hole before looking into the mirror with slight satisfaction, laughing lightly. The red tie was lopsided, curving slightly to the left side but with one last touch, he left it alone; this was the best he was going to get it. He sighed lightly, a small smile crossing his face before he turned from the mirror and headed up the stairs to make a call.

* * *

><p>Liz slowly turned her head toward the soft knock that sounded at her bedroom door. She blinked once, crashing back to reality; she had been in a stupor while dressing for the funeral. She wasn't in any hurry; she hadn't even gotten around to putting on her black blouse and the formal skirt that she had meticulously laid out on the foot of her bed the night before. If it was up to her, she wouldn't be getting dressed… she wouldn't even be going at all … but her mom had kicked up such a fuss that it just seemed easier to give in and go. With a sigh, Liz got up from her spot at her computer desk and walked over to her door, getting ready to open it, but she stopped herself… and looked into the mirror hanging off her door frame; she was still in her underwear and bra. Liz laughed a little crazily at that.<p>

Liz rubbed her eyes, delirious; her sleepless night was finally catching up with her. Everything was finally catching up to her. She kept running what had happened through her head all night long; the annoying questions ripping through her head filled her with rage and desperation. Could she change the pain in her harden heart? She doubted it. Was Alex really dead? Probably. Was it Max's fault Alex was being put into the ground today? She couldn't answer that. Her head, the logical part of her body, told her that it wasn't anyone's fault… that Alex had gotten his head smashed in by an oncoming semi… but her heart… her heart wasn't so sure of Max's innocence. A part of her… a big part… wanted to blame Max for everything. She wanted to blame Max for saving her life that day at the Crashdown but not being able to save Alex's. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to hate everybody… especially herself.

A hard knock brought Liz back to the present and she opened the door; her mom was standing on the other side. "Mom…" Liz said, staring blankly at her mother's small frame standing outside her bedroom door. Neither knew what to do; her mother had never been good at showing Liz affection or comfort. She had never really been good with feelings. Her mother had never once told Liz she loved her… and when she needed the emotional support from her parents the most… Liz didn't get it. She didn't want it. To break the uncomfortable silence between the two, Liz handed her mother the dress jacket she was going to wear to the funeral. "Iron this." Liz demanded softly.

Her mother blinked at her, taken off guard. She hadn't expected that. She said, "Liz… Max is on the phone." Nancy Parker shifted her left hand to take Liz's dress jacket with a gentle hand and handed Liz the cordless phone. Liz took it with hesitant hands and lightly closed the door behind her. Liz brought the phone to her ear._ "Liz," _came Max's deep voice over the phone line. Liz stared out the window over her computer desk, unmoving.

_"__Liz… Are you there?" _Liz gripped the phone tighter. A blue-jay flew by her window. It was beautiful.

Liz could hear Max sigh on the other end of the line._ "Liz… Liz, please… Liz, come on… Talk to me."_

Liz moved her mouth but nothing came out. She wanted to say something, she really did. She wanted to squash the quiet desperation that came over the line in Max's voice… but she couldn't; the hate coursing through her was too intense. She couldn't comfort him… he didn't deserve it.

_"__Liz…." _The desperation in Max's voice was almost tangible._ "__What's happened to us? I love you and I know you love me… I wish you'd come back… I wish you'd love me again…"_

Liz glared at the phone. The rage kept building within her. How dare he! How dare he make a fool of her? She believed in him! She gave him her heart and he threw it away to have a one off with Tess! _"Liz! Liz! Talk to me!"_ She couldn't take it anymore and, shaking with rage; Liz hung up the phone and smashed it against the wall.

* * *

><p>Tess watched as the thick crimson traces of blood washed down the drain of the Valenti's' shower. She had never felt so tired in her life, so washed up. She felt like everything, anything she had left inside herself had gone down the drain along with it. She had nothing, she was nothing but herself… and she didn't even want that. Tess continued to wash the blood off her face; she'd had a hard night. She hadn't slept, not a wink. Everything kept rushing through her head, panic overriding every reasonable emotion or explanation. She couldn't help but think that she was a bad person. How could she lie like this? Like it was so easy, like she had no empathy, no morals… just self-preservation. She could have kept thinking that she had done everything she did for her friends, for their safety… but was there a small part of herself… a tiny bitty part of her… that had done it more for herself?<p>

Her headache had continued to get worse over the night. The pain was so bad that, at one point, she had to keep herself from screaming in agony out of fear of waking Kyle and … and then the blood started… and the images.

It wasn't normal. It wasn't her.

It was like everything just kept spiraling out of her control. She didn't know who she was anymore. It was like she owned nothing now. It was like Destiny all over again, with _her _stuck in a corner, caged. She couldn't think for herself. Once again she was being forced into a life she hadn't asked for. Freedom all too far out of reach. Everything she had done to find herself was gone… She didn't even know herself anymore. Why was this happening to her?

Why couldn't everything go back to the way it used to be? With everybody being safe. Everybody a family again. When had everybody picked sides? Turning on each other? Why _Me_? Why am I still here?

She didn't have any answers for her questions. She didn't have anything anymore. Tess watched as the last traces of blood flowed down the drain.

It might as well have been her too.

TBC...


End file.
